A night to remember...

Well we all know Ocu sleeps at 3 am every day because she has jet lagg since she was born. But apparently sometimes Mama Boss and Big Boss sleeps late too, because last night at 3am, as I was stretching outside the master bedroom, I overheard Mama Boss telling Big Boss that she thought she heard me being strangled and dragged down the stairs. This resulted in Big Boss hitting the alarm button on all his cars and waking up the entire neighbourhood.

Mama Boss's exact words: "Koko menjerit2 macam kena cekik, pastuh makin lama makin jauh" according to Big Boss

To tell you the truth I wasn't really being strangled. I was just choking on the grass I had earlier. And these darn hairballs on my chest aren't helping either. They make me look like a man too.

Following last nights episode, Ocu suddenly had a confesion fit at the dinner table today. The night shima's laptop got stolen, she was actually awake and heard the thieves talking outside her room. That's right: Ocu had kept this secret from Shima all along. No wonder she was losing 1 gram a day and starting to look thin. Slowly.

Well of course, now everyone was drilling her about why she didn't fly out of her room and propel herself on the thieves at 3 am in the morning like Angelina Jolie did in SALT. She had the skills right? That white belt in Taekwando should be put to good use. Okayyyy., the white belt may be the lowest level of achievement in Taekwando but if you've been at the same level for like 10 years and watched all the karate kid movies you should be a killer puncher/kicker even though you suck at dodging. So there were two men? well just throw one guy at the other. Then sit on them. Problem solved.

[Ocu will be ready for them next time.]

Over the long discussion on Ocu's apparent lack of bravery, Zahir confessed feeling guilty too. See, zahir had placed two knives under shima's desk in her bedroom, two more in the back room on her dressing table and one under the passenger seat in her car. Apparently zahir thinks all the crazy males in the universe is going to attack his eldest sister (na'uzubillah). He also had an additional parang kept under his own bed for his wife's protection. But he forgot to place one under Ocu's bed. This led to a handicapp on Ocu's part. This was the real reason why Ocu hesitated. Ocu couldn't just run out of her room and attack the theives without any weapons. Where would the drama be in that? No point hurling one guy on top of the other if they were gonna come right back up and attack her like no tomorrow.

Then Big Boss had an idea. Next time this happens, he said, lets dial the Bangi cops. That must be the most sensible idea in the entire conversation. Possibly because Big Boss is in his late 50's. All we need to do now is get the Bangi cops direct phone number. And remember folks: its not 999 cause that will only get you to the switchboard, where the operator asks you all sorts of questions the first half hour cause they're not sure if you're a prankster or really gasping from a heart attack. The problem is, the last time shima called 999 the next door neighbour died before the ambulance arrived.

But we couldn't get hold of the Bangi police's direct phone number. And the Final Solution? Big Boss says that next time this happens, Ocu can scream PEROMPAKKKK!!! from her room, and Big Boss will hit all the alarm buttons on his cars, again.

Problem solved. I love this family.