Winkie the evil nice guy

I love cornering squirrels into the toilet and watch them commit suicide by jumping into the toilet bowl but let me tell you, Winkie is even worst. Winkie is like the cat version of dracula....he kills kind daddy birds and sweet mummy birds and cute baby birds, bites their heads off and then leaves the remaining bodyparts on the mat by the front door as an offering for Mama Boss. See, this is what happens when you mix siamese and persian together: a monster.

But I like Winkie, in the mornings he would sit by the window in the back room and stare at the hummingbirds that peck at their own reflection in the glass and I can just feel Winkie's imagination go wild at the idea of killing them. According to Shima, Winkie may have some damage in his pre-frontal cortex or perhaps a shrunken amygdala due to the apparent lack of empathy he feels for other creatures (too technical for ya? me too). Winkie should try killing squirrels for a change; they are easier to catch cause they don't fly. [We could have been best friends Winkie. You could have been the brother I never had....*long sigh*. ]

[This is how it should be. But nooooooo....you had to go and complicate things]

Winkie was just a baby when he arrived. He was a gift of true love from Izzat to Jah, so Winkie is obligated to live forever. The pressure is probably too much for Winkie. Perhaps thats why Winkie doesn't hang out with me and Comu much. He kicks Dimot around then goes adventuring down the next two streets, possibily looking for kill (or his shrink). I'm telling ya, the guy is a monster.

I don't have any pictures of Winkie. Shima's camera is with her RO. I can post a semi-look alike of Winkie though. Actually, this guy looks 80% kinder.

Winkie's evil twin. Currently residing in Sing Sing.

DIMOT DOMOT DIMIT DEMIT

Why does everybody love Dimot? I do not understand. Dimot's original name is D.M, an abbreviation for some medicinal plant Mama Boss was working on. The name got expanded to Dimot, but you can fit in any vowel in between to make it work. Mama Boss calls Dimot Da Iman. Shima calls Dimot Dim Dim. I'm so jealous. Two repeating syllables is my trademark. Get a life Dimot. You can't have all the names in the universe.

Dimot didn't arrive at the house by himself. Big Boss picked Dimot and his brother, K5, up in a stinky gutter by Shell. People usually dump cats at Shell because it is right by the pasar malam and satay samuri. Dimot and K5 were lucky because Big Boss don't usually do favours. Thanks to my royal cuteness Big Boss now can't see cats without picking them up and telling Jah and Ocu to take care of them.

The origins of Dimot's and K5's names.

By the way, K5 is not an M16 5.56 mm caliber shooting rifle. DM and K5 are the combination of medicine Mama Boss gives her diabetic patients. So people are always coming to the house asking for DM & K5. It's so annoying. Mama Boss should name one of her medicines KOKO. Koko will definitely make people feel better.

But bad news first, K5 died soon after we got him. I want to blame Ocu for mixing the milk wrong but lets leave the past in the past. (*Ocu is guilty*). K5 was buried in the backyard by the Pinang tree. May K5 rest in peace. Although K5 didn't say or move much, he was a good citizen.

K5 with an M16 rifle (2009). Just before he died.

Since this piece of old news still causes me pain, I will stop now and take a nap.

Comu & ME

Armand & Comu 2004. (I was out at the pub.)

Comu (pronounce Cho-Moo) is my best friend and best listener. Comu had been with Shima long before I came into the picture. Comu's original name is COMEL given to him by Shaza. But Armand would call out Comu! Comu! before chasing him around the house, trying to sit on Comu like a cowboy and thats how Shaza's dream of a conventional cat with a conventional malay name shattered to pieces. Whereas Comel means cute, Comu probably means just-kill-me, or something. But no one should mind Armand. I mean, his favourite fruit jams are made by St Dalfours, and he calls them STD for short.

Comu is ancient, he's 17 years old, which, in human years is about 64 back in Europe (i.e., old) and 145 in Malaysia (i.e., why aren't you dead yet). All of Grandma Opah's cats die out at 7 tops, usually from dangerous social diseases, violent social activities, excessive social babies or too much durian seeds. Comu's dad, who serviced in WWII as a war postal worker, misplaced Comu's birth certificate, so I have always believed that Comu is a pure-bred just like myself cause he's got (some) class.

When Shima wanted to ship us home in the trunk of an airplane (where I didn't even get a window seat), she took us for a medical checkup at a fancy vet hospital. The pretty little doctor ran her hands through my luxurious fur, looked into my shiny marble eyes, turned back my sexy ear flaps, forced open my perfect jaw and picked at my glossy white teeth, stuck her pinkie up my hot behind and then, since she apparently didn't find what she was looking for, scanned me with a metal detector (do I look like a terrorist to you? apparently she did). By that time, she wasn't pretty to me anymore. Anyway, the following info came up on her computer screen:

MADELINE: PURE-BRED PERSION: DOB 17 SEPT 2001: ROYALTY see BIRTH CERT for proof.

You know what came up on Comu's?

#$@#!@ 1993 $%^&(

The vet said the German's no longer manufactured this kind of pet chip ID so her software can't read the contents of Comu's chip properly. We were lucky the scanner even detected it, cause it had slipped all the way to Comu's B.U.M equipment. The symbols probably meant ACHTUNG! GERMAN SPY  cause then the vet told shima --and I can remember this quite vividly -- "don't feed them for the next 24 hours....". Thanks a lot Comu.

saying goodbye to shima for a long trip home

When we were caged in the plane on our long trip back to malaysia (along with a stupid monkey, two peacocks and an unmoving human), I cried all the way and nearly forgot about peeing. Comu looked at me like I had gone mad. I don't know what else they cut off when they neutered him, but they should have saved some adrenaline pumping organs for survival mode.

I was so glad to see Jah's face when she picked us up. Jah peeked in on us through the metal bars of our burgundy plastic cage and was so proud to see I hadn't peed on the gray carpet lining. That's the first thing she told Shima on the phone, I heard her. To tell you the truth, I did feel like peeing once and a little bit more. But Comu gave me that look that said he'd kill me then and there, so I kept it in.

Comu doesn't talk much, so if he was human, he'd be the silent serious type, like the godfather character in the godfather, the old one, you know, who kills people by surprise. That's another thing about Comu too.. he's superbly loyal to Shima. If Shima moved in to the house next door, which she did once to my amazement, Comu would always come home to the house next door, whereas I would always end up at the old place and wondered why it was empty. Then head to the pub.

Just lost my train of thought there.. *pub* *pub* *pub*...

Hello I am KOKO

Hello, my name is Koko. I am 9 years old. I have a birth certificate to prove it. Well, the birth cert is somewhere in Jah's pile of boxes, but I'm sure I can dig it out. I come from a long line of persion queens, and my real name is actually Madeline, but my new owners had some sense to rename me Koko and now I'm feeling like a japanese popstar.

I live in Bangi, its hot here. But I ran away once and it was hot there also, so I came back. I don't run away anymore, it pisses shima off when she has to come and collect me in the middle of the night from some pub downtown, but that's another story. Besides, my nametag has fallen off and hasn't been replaced so if I ran away again I'll probably end up as roadkill or burned and thrown in that morib river like some poor woman called Sosi everybody at home is talking about. Urghh..

My official owner is Shima, she's the one who cooks but KFC rocks more. Then there's Jah, she's the one who just got married recently so she's not acting all crazy about me like she used to.

I am black and white, so if you wanna be my baby it ain't matter if you're black or white, I just don't do grays. For the record, it was Michael Jackson who said that, but its too late anyway, he's dead, I'm neutered, and so should all cats be, which is why I'm anti-Pe'ah!

more on Peáh later..