And you are....?

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who scream in delight when they see me, and those who scream in fear. There's a third group of course, the ones with no emotional reaction whatsoever. I know there's something wrong with these people: either they have no excitement in  their life and their spouses are chewing grass in boredom, or they're just holding back.. Let me just tell you people, not letting it all out can lead to high blood pressure and stress, and perhaps a real chance at happiness. At least thats what I read from the many works of Prof Azhir. So just let it all out, scream in delight when you see me or run in fear. I promise you no one in this household will laugh out (in front of you).

But I know I did one lady a big favour. And she can probably thank me the rest of her life. This lady, parked her car at the side of the house and she left the driver's side of the door open while she buckled up her baby in the back seat. So, I conveniently jumped inside and settled in the passengers seat.

When she sat down and put her seat belt on, she suddenly noticed me sitting next to her with a big grin on my face and she screamed so loudly the whole street came out to see what was happening. Of course, shima locked the front door and denied she ever knew me so Jah had to become braveheart and save me from the screaming lady and her baby.  But that scream was 345 megaWatts of stress released right there. You're most welcome lady.

Whenever there are guests at the house, my first gut reaction is to lie down and stretch before them on the table and see what'd they do. Usually, I'd get pats and praises and ooooohhh..she's so cute, which really feeds my ego. The one time I tried stretching in the middle of the road though I nearly got killed. Thank goodness one driver had the sense to stop but that resulted in a mile of traffic jam. I was waiting for him to come out of his car, pet me and tell me how cute I am but all he did was *honk* *honk* *honk*. No manners, apparently. Of course Jah had to run out and get me out of the way, after which I got a flick on the ear from shima for being so brave.

See, this is why I used to go to pubs. At the pubs everybody makes me feel like the real me, i.e., a Japanese popstar. They let me strut on the bar counter like a Versace model and if I suddenly flop in front of them, they go all crazy and swoon. The trick is not to go to the same pub twice, because a new audience is always more enthusiastic. Besides, I don't want shima to figure out my pattern, cause if she gets bored she might dump me for one of those scottish fold cats that look deaf.

[Dream on, Helmi]

Once I've covered all the pubs in Soton, I thought I might as well go to that big pub at Shirley, which is where the Bingo house is and only about 30 minutes away by car. After all the applause and kisses, at 2 am the pub owner finally decided I should go home so he rang the number on my tag. It tickled me pink as I peeked out the window and saw shima and jah arrived outside in the grey BMW on a cold winter night in their pyjamas. Then of course I watched cheekily as they spent another half hour arguing about who should go inside into the crowded smokey room and face all the big men with tatoos all over their arms and backs, and holding snooker sticks. In the end, Jah had to come in and fetch me because shima had done her share the week before at the pub in Portswood. By the way, that was my last pub before shima finally sent me on that long trip home to live in rural Bangi. Why did you think I was miowing so much on that trip back? I thought she was going to kill me.

So which one are you? Are you a runner or a fan? Just don't use this last line on shima cause the last time someone said this to her, she put me in a cage, gave the person a killer look and didn't speak to Big Boss a whole 24 hours.

boleh tak you kurung kucing you sebab kalau i tengok kucing i rasa macam nak mati....aah aahh.. takut takut, pergi pergi, jangan jangan, tolong, tolomg, pakcikkk!!! suruhla anak you simpan kucing nie, i nak mati, i nak mati, tak bleh nafas...

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